WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move that historians are calling "either a monumentally stupid coincidence or a shockingly transparent metaphor," construction crews have reportedly entombed the long-awaited Jeffrey Epstein client documents beneath the freshly poured concrete foundation of the new White House ballroom.

The mishap occurred late Tuesday when a pallet of boxes, marked "Epstein Stuff - Probably Just Old Menus from Little St. James," was mistaken for an ideal substrate for leveling the dance floor.

"Aesthetically, it was perfect," said Site Foreman Gus Henderson. "We had a slight dip near where the punch bowl will go. Those boxes were exactly the right height. We just slapped 'em in, poured the concrete, and smoothed ‘er out. She's level as a billiard table now. Great for the waltz, terrible for justice."

The current administration, when pressed for comment, immediately shifted focus to what it called a "real national crisis."

A spokesperson for the President appeared on cable news and stated, "Everyone is asking about these documents, which are probably just more witch hunt stuff, fake news, very boring. But nobody is talking about the real scandal, a terrible thing—the radical left is putting WOKE CRITICAL RACE THEORY into our kindergartens! They’re teaching our beautiful babies to HATE AMERICA while they play with blocks! It’s a disgrace! These daycare centers are a national disaster, probably run by people who hate our ballroom, which is going to be the best ballroom, everyone says so."

The opposition party has announced an investigative committee. One prominent Senator vowed, "We will subpoena every trowel and every hard hat on that site! This is a cover-up deeper than the foundation itself!"

Meanwhile, political pundits on one network praised the administration's focus, with a chyron reading: "PRESIDENT TACKLES REAL THREAT: WOKE DAYCARES," while a rival network’s graphic simply read: "DISTRACTED BY BLOCKS WHILE BURYING EVIDENCE?"

In a bizarre twist, the construction delay has been praised by some activists. A representative from the "Stop Digging Craters for the Ballroom" environmental group said, "While we are horrified by the reason, we are thrilled by the pause. It was disrupting a crucial migration path for a very specific type of D.C. beetle."

When asked if the documents could be retrieved, the lead architect sighed. "Technically? Yes. We could jackhammer it out. But have you seen the marble inlay we've planned? It's a gorgeous herringbone pattern. It'd be a real shame."

As of press time, the White House announced a new executive order banning blocks in federally funded daycare centers, calling them "the first step down a very dark road."